So, I was talking to my friend Chris (Traci’s husband) while he was standing at the door, handing out candy, and he was telling me that tonight he had seen two weird things in kids’ Halloween candy sacks.
The first thing he noticed was that some lame jackass had given out those stupid Jesus-crispy how-to-avoid-burning-in-Hell comics.
And the second weird thing was that some other crazy jackass had stapled little “Vote for Ron Paul” cards to candy, and for some insane reason thought this would be a good thing to hand out.
I told him if anything like that shows up again, trade the kid some candy for it, and about 5 minutes (and a fun-size pack of Sour Patch Kids) later, a kid showed up at the door with this note in his candy bucket.
Maybe this person and the Vote-For-Ron-Paul person should get together and go bowling.
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Are they saying Jesus is made of candy?
What Would Jesus Hand Out? Or WWJHO. I bet it wouldn’t be dumb notes or lame comics. Maybe wine, fish and bread. Or maybe he could make one tootsie roll last all night by some sort of miracle. That’d be cool. I wonder how many he could feed with just one tootsie roll…..
Maybe he’d hand out “Vote for Ron Paul” cards stapled to a Twizzler.
I’m sure Jesus would appreciate Ron Paul’s Libertarian sensibilities and Twizzler’s chewy goodness.
Everyone knows Jesus was a democrat, that’s why he rode in on a donkey, instead of an elephant. Or a weasel for that matter (isn’t that what the libertarian mascot is?) ;)
Those crispy “how-to-avoid-burning-in-hell” comics have their own website, by the guy who draws them, at http://www.chick.com. They’re called “Chick Tracks,” b/c they guy’s name is Jack Chick. And yes, they are incredibly lame and batshit xian fundy (he has one track about how the Catholic church is really controlled by Satan).
Wish I had thought to staple notes to candy; something like “Stephen Colbert for president!”
Oh, wow…
If I was a kid that got that note in my bucket, it would just make me feel cheated.