First Note in the New Notebook: What you write must exist in two places or it doesn’t really exist (which must also be the reason we have doppelgangers).
A few weeks ago, I was talking to Amy about my recent layoff scare, and how it scared me enough to consider doing something drastic, like trying to make a living doing something I actually like doing for change. But now that I had survived the layoffs, I was scared I might let myself slip back into accepting predictable drudgery. I didn’t want that to happen. After all, my job isn’t going to last forever, and I would eventually have to face the same hopes and fears. All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again. I need to listen to this urge this time. I could start with a small writing project, maybe a fortune cookie fortune, or a short story. A few seconds after I tossed out an idea for a story, I said, “I should probably start writing these down. There’s no telling how many ideas get lost forever because I never write them down. I think I’ll remember them but I never do.”
“Do it. Write it down.”
“Nah, you write it down.” And she did. It was pure laziness on my part. I had a notebook with me. I had a pen. But I was in the middle of drinking coffee, and my notebook was all the way in my back pocket. (Note to self: Would use notebooks more if I could keep them in a girl’s back pocket.)
A couple of hours later, she left and we both forgot that I needed that note.
The next day at work, I thought about that forgotten note, and did something simple and out-of-character: I wrote that fuckin’ idea down. I didn’t care how stupid it was. And then, I told Todd that I’m going to do a little experiment: I’m going to write down every idea I have for a week to see what I’m losing. For some people, this is a habit, but not for me. I caught myself a few times thinking that I’ll just remember it.
After a week, I had 8 ideas. Okay, I thought, this is worth doing. I’m probably losing a few hundred ideas a year by not doing it.
Then, a couple of days ago. Cindy was putting clothes away, and started laughing. She called me into the bedroom, and held out a white-and-orange wad of wet paper. Of course, the one time I actually use my notebook for something more than grocery lists and errands, I’d leave the damn thing to be washed. Luckily, I had told Todd the ideas, so I do have a back-up…of sorts…this time.
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Man…I’m really sorry, but holy cow did that look funny. It was like a paper turd.
I feel like we both need to be doing something creative. we should have coffee and brainstorm and make lists then wash them.
We must be on a similar wave-length. Almost every day at work I have this “third floor meeting” in which I take something to read and a cup of coffee. You know the kind of meeting. But this week I decided to start writing a poem for every time I’m in there. This week I’ve written three–well, not poems really, but lines anyway. This is more than I’ve done in like a year or two.