I’ve been meaning to post some pictures to the Growing Up Star Wars Flickr Group for a while now, so this as good a time as any to start going through the boxes and boxes of completely disorganized photos and see what else I can find to embarrass myself with each week.

Washington Irving Elementary – Durant, Oklahoma – October 1978

I think I had maybe a dozen Star Wars. I would wear them until the plastic iron-on picture would start cracking.

Halloween in Durant, Oklahoma 1978

Note that I was clever enough to use sunglasses with the Darth Vader mask, but not clever enough to wear a black long-sleeved shirt. Man, these costumes were just awful back then, but we loved them! I’m pretty sure the one-fist-on-the-hip thing was probably my grandma’s idea. Sassy.

My Birthday – Germany – 1980

I remember that this was the puzzle I wanted because basically I liked anything that had Han Solo. Chewbacca, or the Millennium Falcon on it. I don’t think I ever put it together.

Halloween in Germany 1980

I love that I’ve been demoted to a storm trooper, but I’m still taller than Darth Vader.

Christmas – Altus, Oklahoma – 1976

Of course, with a haircut like mine at that age, not everything was Star Wars. I wish I could find a better picture with the insignia showing. If I do, I’ll post it. It would be the logical thing to do.

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So, I was talking to my friend Chris (Traci’s husband) while he was standing at the door, handing out candy, and he was telling me that tonight he had seen two weird things in kids’ Halloween candy sacks.

The first thing he noticed was that some lame jackass had given out those stupid Jesus-crispy how-to-avoid-burning-in-Hell comics.

And the second weird thing was that some other crazy jackass had stapled little “Vote for Ron Paul” cards to candy, and for some insane reason thought this would be a good thing to hand out.

I told him if anything like that shows up again, trade the kid some candy for it, and about 5 minutes (and a fun-size pack of Sour Patch Kids) later, a kid showed up at the door with this note in his candy bucket.

Maybe this person and the Vote-For-Ron-Paul person should get together and go bowling.

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This is the best Ghostbuster costume I’ve seen.

The line “He slimed me” conjures up a whole new scene for me now.

[Buycostumes.com Product Page]

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It’s been a while since our neighbors across the street have put up any of those awful inflatable seasonal yard things that Cindy’s mentioned. For Halloween this year, they put out a giant inflatable castle-themed archway for their front door, and a big inflatable jack-o-latern for the lawn. They were up for a week before a few straight days of severe winds thrashed the things, and for the last two weeks they’ve remained right where they deflated.

Everyday, as we pull into our driveway, I look at our neighbors’ yard, checking the status of the inflatables because this isn’t the first time their yard decor ( ‘yard decor’ sounds better if you say it with a French accent; if you don’t like using a French accent, you can call it ‘freedom decor’) has collapsed, so I know one of two things will happen:

One, they’ll leave the inflatable castle entrance and jack-o-lantern where they are, and then inflate them a day or two before Halloween to reduce the chances of another round of winds tearing them up.

Or two — and this is my favorite of the two because it’s so white trashy — they will leave them alone, and on Halloween they’ll be there, crumpled masses of gray and orange plastic, one on the porch, the other on the lawn. That’s kind of scary, isn’t it?

The second scenario has been played out more than a few times, so now I’m always amazed that they even bother trying to put anything out whenever a major holiday rolls around. I figure at some point they’ll begin streamlining the process. One of these days we’ll be sitting on the front steps, and we’ll see them pull into their driveway, get out of the truck with a couple of brand new inflatable yard ornaments, which they will promptly take out of the boxes and immediately throw on the lawn in a rumpled pile of tastelessness.

Done and done.

UPDATE: It’s Sunday afternoon, and they’re setting the stuff up, so it looks like it’s Scenario #1 for Halloween this year.

Technorati Tags: halloween

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Yeah, I know Easter has long since passed, but I never got around to posting this, so here it is now.

How cool are those? Okay, I mean “cool” in the dorky sense of the word. You know what I mean.

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Yesterday was Mardi Gras and we were planning on having our yearly meal of Everything Jambalaya, but one of our friends was busy working on a grant, which was due today at 5 PM, so we decided to have it a day late. (Should we call today Fat Ash Wednesday? Or does that just sound like a speech impediment?)

It’s one of the few times a year I get to break out the naked lady bottle opener (best bottle opener in the free world). So what if Woodchucks have twist-off tops, I’m using it anyway.

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Well, I haven’t been blogging much, but I promise to get back here more often in 2007.

In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all know that I’ll be taking the rest of 2006 off.

Have a Happy Nude New Year!…………………Nude Year!

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Cindy: Uh, what are you doing with the Three Wise Men?

Me: I’m re-imagining The Nativity Story to make it more action-y.

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Every year, adults go crazy getting toys for their kids. Just watch. After Thanksgiving, we’ll start hearing reports about adults pushing, shoving, trampling, wrestling, and maybe even stabbing someone over a masturbating Elmo or whatnot. Isn’t this, after all, what Christmas is really about?

There’s no need for all the holiday-induced violence, people. Your brat won’t really care about the masturbating Elmo, anyway. Chances are he or she would rather play with the box the masturbating Elmo came in. (Can you say that?)

However, if you’re looking for some pint-sized kudos from your little crap factories, you’ll get them any of the following gifts this Christmas:

• Farting Robot
• Cybernetic Penguin
• Zombie Nativity Scene
• Easy Bake Dutch Oven
• Magic of Pantomime Playset with Bullhorn
• Tobin’s Spirit Guide – Pop-up Edition
• Darth Vader Tea Set
• Tom Clancy’s Ballroom Dancing for Xbox 360
• Barbie Bling Bling Time Machine
• Remote-Controlled Viola

I hope this list alleviates some of your holiday shopping worries.

Good hunting.

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It’s “Show us your boobs!” Day, or as some people call it, Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday. As usual, Cindy and I will be making some Everything Jambalaya, which is just so damn yummy.

And don’t forget about the BourboCam.

It’s just occurred to me that this is the last day of February and I own you guys another picture of me, and I’ll post that later this evening. Considering that I’ve been to the Y only a handful of times this month, and haven’t been very good at watching what I eat, it’s only fitting that I finally get around to posting a new pic on a day called Fat Tuesday. Jeez.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Now, show us your boobs!

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