Yes, yes, yes. We all know you’re a much better person than I am. We get it.

“‘Charlie Rose’ by Samuel Beckett“ — Ha! Samuel Beckett, indeed.

E-Mail From Aunt Accidentally Opened — More all-too-true fake news from The Onion. We laugh because it’s true. We cry because it’s true.

Patton Oswalt: Death Bed — I have ideas like this. What the fuck?

Nightmare Playgrounds — My prediction? You saying “Seriously, what the fuck is up with that shit?” Was I right? You know I was right.

Joost – Free online TV…because, you know, we don’t spend enough time at the computer.

[Thanks to Todd and Brian for the links.]

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President’s Day sale aren’t what they used to be.

I can finally afford it, now that it’s gone on sale. Woo-hoo!

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Okay, I don’t have any tattoos, but l know lots of people who do. I’ve thought about getting one, but I’m afraid that whatever I get, I’ll be bored with it soon, and wish I would have gotten some other design instead.

So, here’s some questions for you guys:

1. Do you have any tattoos, how many, and where?
2. Are you thinking about getting another one, and of what?
3. If you don’t have any tattoos, have you thought about getting one, and why or why didn’t you get one?

I’ve been thinking about this again because I might get one if I lose 80 lbs.

Any thoughts?

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Now contains 30% more lead-based links to make it shinier.

Intel Video Ad Directed by Christopher Guest — Hilariously brilliant! I mean, if you’re a geek or dork or something, which I’m totally not, so this video sucks.

Kevin Smith is NOT the Last Cylon — It’s confirmed. Kevin Smith, who was set/not-quite-set to direct an episode of Battlestar Galactica for Season Four is, in fact, not going to be directing one after all. Find out why from Mr. Smith himself.

BILL MAHER *NEW RULES* AUG 24, 2007 — “If you were surprised that the Chinese don’t care about toy safety, then the child who needs protecting is you. Over the last couple of months, American consumers have been learning a shocking lesson about supply and demand: if you demand products that don’t cost anything, people will make them out of poison, mud and shit.”

Doctor Links a Man’s Illness to a Microwave Popcorn Habit — “A fondness for microwave buttered popcorn may have led a 53-year-old Colorado man to develop a serious lung condition that until now has been found only in people working in popcorn plants.

Lung specialists and even a top industry official say the case, the first of its kind, raises serious concerns about the safety of microwave butter-flavored popcorn. ” Wow. How fucking weird is that?

The Perry Bible Fellowship — Comics by Nicholas Gurewitch.

See you in the airport men’s room.

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I’ve rerouted all power to your browser.

“Touchdown Jesus,” or “Drowning Jesus” — Just one more thing open to interpretation. Can’t wait to see how this splits the Church. Or maybe “YMCA Jesus”? (Thanks, Amy!)

There Are 12 Kinds of Ads in the World — I always thought there were only two kinds of commercials: those that featured women in bikinis, and those that didn’t. (Thanks, Todd!)

Zack Kim – Simpsons Theme — One man, two guitars. Simpsons theme. Crazy amazing.

King of Kong Trailer — Donkey Kong champs go head to head. I must see this.

Bring Your Own Chopsticks Movement Gains Traction in Asia — This is from last year, but I only recently found out about it. We could do that here. I have a nice titanium set of cutlery that I intended to use for work, but then just got lazy about. I’m going to dig them out right now.

[End Transmission]

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Check out these links now, before Rupert Murdoch buys up the universe.

Giant Homer Simpson Freaks Out English Countryside — Check out Homer playing a game of ring toss. I wonder what he’s aiming for. (Thanks for the link, Robin.)

Welcome Back, Potter — Pretty good take on Harry Potter’s later years, but I still like SNL’s skit with Lindsay Lohan. Mmmm, boobies. Oh, yeah, and there’s also the Simpson’s take on Harry Potter.

12 Famous Living Recluses — Criminy, I didn’t know Harper Lee was still alive. And why the hell does John Hughes seem like he might be going a bit crazy?

1-18-08 (aka Cloverfield, aka Slusho): A Quick Primer — If you haven’t heard, the teaser for the new J.J. Abrams movie is getting lots of attention. Montyfood has a really good primer on it, if you’re looking to delve deeper into the mystery of what the hell is this movie about anyway!? Seriously, this movie better be damn good. Speaking of teasers, Abrams is also doing the next Star Trek movie, which is due out Christmas 2008. Not much word on it so far, aside from the poster on the site.

Indiana Jones — Proof that the long-waited, long-delayed Indiana Jones movie is really truly under way.

Now, watch this drive!

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Now with 30% more porn…and these links.

The Simpson Movie website — Check out the “Create Your Simpsons Avatar” feature, which is actually kind of cool. Here’s mine.

Transformers — 8 pages of “robot” goodness. I haven’t been able to find many of these at Wal-Mart for some reason.

“Emma Watson in 3D” on Posterwire.com — Looking at Hermione Granger’s boobs, hair, and facial expression in the two versions of the poster is like those “Can you spot the difference?” pictures they used to put in the newspaper.

SF Movie Paper Craft Gallery — Just plain how-the-hell-did-they-do-that awesome.

Buck Rogers Intro. and Eric Cartman Version — One of my favorite bits from South Park.

Oh, yeah, we’ll be in line for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix tonight.

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Hmmm, they have the Internet on computers now. Or so I’ve been told.

RiffTrax — Mystery Science Theater 3000′s Michael J. Nelson does his commentary thing for some pretty recent full-length movies. You buy the audio commentary, then get the DVD of the movie, and then play them together, and it’s like MST3K…but without the little heads. I wish there was someway to get those on the TV. Here’s a sample from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

Starship Dimensions — If you want to know how big some well-known science fiction spaceships are compared to other things…like commercial airliners, or say, other spaceships from other scifi TV shows and movies, this is a great place to find out. And if you’re a dork, nerd, or geek, then I know you’ve wanted to know.

Paul Potts Sings Nessun Dorma — Yeah, this guy has gotten lots of shit from critics saying that he’s not really good, but I really don’t care. I think they’re missing the big picture, which is here’s a average schmuck who sells cellphones or something for a living, and he’s had this dream and gets to step out of the shadows — even for just a little bit — and show it to the world. Watch the faces of the judges and the audience. We all have enough people in the world underestimating us; we don’t need to be one of them, too.

The Landlord Out Takes – I’m sure you’ve seen the snort-inducing video The Landlord by now, but if you haven’t, you need to watch it before you watch these outtakes.

Stick Figure Death Theatre — That pretty much says it all, I think.

Catch ya, later.

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Push, pull, or drag your old computer to these spots on the Interweb.

I Used To Believe — A collection of things that adults used to believe when they were kids. It’s pretty funny and cute, because you are reminded about how a child’s mind works…but it’s also kind of scary because you realize that there are plenty of adults who still believe some really dumb shit.

Pandora — Awesome streaming radio that caters to your taste in music. Especially handy if you live in a city where all the music radio stations suck-diddly-uck.

I Can Has Cheezburger? — There are few things in life funnier than cats…because cats have horrible spelling. Stupid cats.

One Schrute Buck for you! — You probably don’t deserve it, but here’s a Schrute Buck for you. How much are Schrute Bucks worth? Watch and Learn.

Disneyland in China? — China takes making knock-offs to a whole new level.

Enjoy the fun.

Cindy and I are off to see The Police in Dallas. Woo-hoo!

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One of my favorite lines from Scrubs (and there are many) is something Dr. Cox said: “I’m fairly sure if they took all the porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called “Bring back the porn!”

Well, guess what? They might not have taken all the porn off the internet, but there is a site called — and the following link is NOT safe for work, BTW — Bring Back the Porn.

I think it’s funny that the prediction was made by a character named Dr. Cox.

Also…in other porn-related news…

I saw this entry on Gizmodo and wanted to see what my site was rated. As Gizmodo entry points out, the rating tool (obviously “for entertainment purposes only”) “rates blogs by searching for keywords in your front page content.”

So, I put my URL in and here’s what Numskullery is rated.

Not bad, I guess. But, then I put in the URL for Bring Back the Porn.

Ha!

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